Gift of Life

My nine-months-journey will be over soon…

I recall how unpleasant I was feeling when I started on this journey. It’s not easy and really wanting to make it the first and the last. Then I realized how much of a novice I was back then.

There’s so much more on this road…

God loves me so much that He can’t just let me not enjoy this wonderful phase of a woman’s life.

After the first three months, when all the morning sickness has gone and the sluggishness shrinks off, I began to feel good about myself. I want to show everybody that I am blessed with a GIFT OF LIFE and I am indeed pregnant. There was no insecure bone in my body even up to now. And though, I am carrying a boy in my womb, I didn’t experience having skin darkening like most pregnant women would experience. There was no unwanted weight gain; people would say that I can mistakenly appear not pregnant when I turn my back. I don’t have stretch marks, I never scratched my belly like it was really that itchy though that made me think that Isaiah is bald like his dad when he was a baby.  And most of all, I have a wonderful husband who babies me all the time… I thank God for all these awesome feeling.

Now I am on my 38th week and am expecting to give birth any time now. My last visit with my OB was last Saturday, December 13th and was examined 1 cm dilated already. Suddenly, it dawned on me and Kris the reality that we will soon be parents. It was mixed emotions and I can’t settle on which one’s on top of the other.

So many things are running in my mind …

When is the big day? I hope it won’t fall on Christmas day. I want Isaiah to be able to cherish his birthday when he grows up apart from the Christmas season and give real value to Jesus’ birthday.

How will I handle the birthing pain? This is Krisses concern as well but we both believe that WE can do all things through Christ who strengthens US.

Will Isaiah be all okay and normal? The last ultrasound said he was on a perfect 8/8 score and that everything’s okay, can’t really wait though till I touch him and hold him.

And now I’m wondering if Kris and I will cry when we finally see him. We are cry baby, just like last night upon watching the film “Facing Giants” that brought us both into tears.

For all these things and the so many other blessings from God, my heart is really in gratitude that all throughout this journey, God never leave me. Not to forget that in the middle of this pregnancy, the company I was working for has been affected by the US economy crisis and that I have to work freelance. Life has been tough for both Kris and I since then but God is tougher. HE’s with us, sharing in our joys, building more love and creating stronger relationship.

Thank you Lord for all your Blessings.

Thank you Lord for your Love.

Thank you for this GIFT OF LIFE.

Birthing Room

Last Saturday, December 6, Kris & I toured the Cardinal Santos Medical Center’s birthing room.

We took Lamaze class on October so we were able to get the privilege to do this. Hours earlier that same day, I showed my birth plan to my OB, Dra. Agdamag where everything written was approved by her. Kris will be joining me all throughout the labor to coach me and all that.

Laurie, the nurse from the Delivery Room took this picture from the birthing room.

She was the one behind me on the first pic wearing green. Basically, this birthing room is designed for Lamaze couples. Laurie showed us all the other room like the ones used in Caesarean birth, the Labor room which is quite bigger compared to St. Lukes and the regular Delivery room. Kris needs to familiarize himself around this facility so he will not surely panic on the Big Day. 

Hide & Seek

I downloaded pictures from my Ixus camera to free up space and somehow prep it for Isaiah’s birth. I just found out that there were too many pictures I have kept for quite a very long time now. Thank God I found today an opportunity to organize it so I can erase those that has been there for century.

One really good pic I found was Krisses.

I took it sometime in April during our “playtime mode”. The story was he went upstairs ahead of me. I think we were about to sleep then. And since most of the time, I was the one doing all the “hiding stuff”, he tried to do it himself that time. As you can see, he tried so hard to fit himself and cover himself with the towel. It was so funny. Good thing I grabbed my camera right away and took a shot of him. It will always remind me of how playful and how kulit we were.


Now it gives me a big smile on my face when I remember how we’ll run after each other up the stairs and slam the door so we’ll not catch each other. Hahaha! Even now that I am pregnant there are still those playing times… Sometimes we’re talking if we can still do those once Isaiah comes out… Well I hope we could. After all, married life is not all about parenting but also about having fun times together. ;)

Past & Pain...

Unexpectedly... there are things that will remind me of the past ... and the pain will come alive ... i cannot do anything but cry ... feel the fear again that i once felt ... i was lost for a moment ... i wail in agony ... but God is good ... all the time... I recognize my inability to protect you on my own ... i lift my distress up to God ... and He gave me security that everything will be alright now ... because He's there ... i hold on to His words ... His promises that will set me free from the pains of the past ... He sets me free ... You and Me ... and all i want to do is to love you continously ... beyond pain ....I love you and I am proud of who we become after all the tribulations we went through ... Praise God.

Survivor Philippines No More!

It’s past 10pm. I’m not supposed to be in front of the computer but of TV instead watching Survivor Philippines.

I’ve been watching it since the beginning and developed an allegiance for the Naak tribe who’s a very family-like team compared to the opposite team, the Jarakay. As much as I don’t want to say it, but Marlon the very deceiving character in the group really pisses me off. His evil demeanor makes my heart sink. I couldn’t stand his supercilious self that destroys the relationship of the Naak team. Last night, Kiko was eliminated because of Marlon’s wicked strategy to break the once I thought strong relationship of the Naaks. I can’t blame the Naak members whom Marlon was able to win over to save his ass. But relationship destroyed because of false charges really breaks my heart into pieces.

I told myself that I’m not gonna watch it again. Told Kris too how much I lost enthusiasm over it. I’m saving myself from too much anguish… I have enough of Marlon. Survivor is over in my list now … but just glad that there’s this Pinoy Fear Factor to supplant it. A friend, LJ Moreno is part of it and I’m just glad when she told me that there’s no some sort of alliance in it. I can watch it without a threat that it will break my heart like the Survivor did.

Am I too soft? Yes I am…

Victorious Americans

Today is America’s Presidential Election. I have witnessed the campaigns of both Obama and McCain through CNN. Kris would always tune in to either CNN or Fox News for breaking news regarding the two. At one time, I called him election obsessed. We’re not American citizens for crying out loud but for some reason, this election has brought him inspiration. He admires Barack Obama and is rooting for him. While I am not siding on any one of them, my heart goes for Obama somehow.

At 12 noon, PH time McCain graciously conceded over Obama’s victory. With him on the stage were his wife Cindy and running mate Sarah Palin and her husband. I was nearly in tears while he was speaking in front of his many supporters. I can see in his eyes the disappointment. His sadness saddens me for some reason. I don’t know if it is because I can feel him or I am just naturally emotional because I am pregnant.

On the other hand, people were waiting for Barack at the Grant Park in Chicago. He too will have his speech and American people are enthusiastically waiting for him. I am too. I am thinking that he’s going to be emotional. Not long after, he came out of the stage with wife Michelle and two kids. There were smiles in their faces while tears were running down the cheeks of both the black and white Americans. I was nearly in tears too. At long last, a black American will never be discriminated again as they were hundred years back.

President elect Barack Obama indeed create history different from others. I pray that he will be the man of God who will lead the world’s leading country the way God wants him to lead it.

God Bless America.

Woman of Faith

It’s been two weeks now since a friend’s boyfriend passed away of heart attack. The guy, Manny Distor was so young. It shocked both Kris and I upon learning from another friend who knew Manny.

On the first night we visited the wake, I held my tears when I hugged Yas. I can feel her pain showing in her eyes… She told me and Mia, another co worker that like so many other couples, she and Manny started building dreams together … one of it is getting married soon. I would remember how Yas would make kwento about Manny when she’s in the office. Working freelance for Philippine News, she would just go there once a week during Sales meeting. And when we see each other at church, she would tell Kris that we go on a double date some time. That night we were standing before Manny’s lifeless body, Yas kidded us “This is our double date already”. Kris and I really felt so sad. We were acquainted with Manny before I met Yas at work. I was actually surprised upon knowing that they were together. What a small world I thought to myself.

Though in pain, I can see in Yas how much she tried to be strong. She told us that Manny’s death really changed her perspective in life. And I admire how she looks at things now. Indeed, I can say that she’s holding on to God and she trusts Him with all her heart. She said, Manny taught her a lot about the facts of life and it would be unfair for Manny if she would not apply it in her life now that he’s gone. She was nearly in tears when she was telling about her dream with Manny and expressing how much she wanted to be with him as well.

“It was weird” she said. “All I can see are our feet. I was wearing his slippers and he got it from me saying, Yas this is not yours”. In an instant, I knew in my heart what that dream meant and I told her this:

Yas, you and Manny used to walk together in your lives. But now that he’s gone, he’s taking a path different from yours. You said you also want to follow him and be with him but Manny knew that it’s not your time yet and that’s what he meant when he said “it’s not yours”. You have to live your life to the fullest despite his absence.

Mia was surprised with my interpretation and I am too…

Observing people around, I can see how much Manny was loved. Family and friends, they all knew that Manny was indeed a cool guy who loves God and His words.

His time on earth is quite short but as he enters the gate of heaven, he’ll have the eternal life with our Creator.

I pray that Yas will always be comforted by that fact and that she will continue to live her life to the fullest by touching the lives of the so many people around her … spreading the words and grace of God not only to those who are hurting but also to those who are seeking who God is.

God Bless you Yas… I believe that you are indeed a Woman of Faith.

Woman of Faith

It’s been two weeks now since a friend’s boyfriend passed away of heart attack. The guy, Manny Distor was so young. It shocked both Kris and I upon learning from another friend who knew Manny.

On the first night we visited the wake, I held my tears when I hugged Yas. I can feel her pain showing in her eyes… She told me and Mia, another co worker that like so many other couples, she and Manny started building dreams together … one of it is getting married soon. I would remember how Yas would make kwento about Manny when she’s in the office. Working freelance for Philippine News, she would just go there once a week during Sales meeting. And when we see each other at church, she would tell Kris that we go on a double date some time. That night we were standing before Manny’s lifeless body, Yas kidded us “This is our double date already”. Kris and I really felt so sad. We were acquainted with Manny before I met Yas at work. I was actually surprised upon knowing that they were together. What a small world I thought to myself.

Though in pain, I can see in Yas how much she tried to be strong. She told us that Manny’s death really changed her perspective in life. And I admire how she looks at things now. Indeed, I can say that she’s holding on to God and she trusts Him with all her heart. She said, Manny taught her a lot about the facts of life and it would be unfair for Manny if she would not apply it in her life now that he’s gone. She was nearly in tears when she was telling about her dream with Manny and expressing how much she wanted to be with him as well.

“It was weird” she said. “All I can see are our feet. I was wearing his slippers and he got it from me saying, Yas this is not yours”. In an instant, I knew in my heart what that dream meant and I told her this:

Yas, you and Manny used to walk together in your lives. But now that he’s gone, he’s taking a path different from yours. You said you also want to follow him and be with him but Manny knew that it’s not your time yet and that’s what he meant when he said “it’s not yours”. You have to live your life to the fullest despite his absence.

Mia was surprised with my interpretation and I am too…

Observing people around, I can see how much Manny was loved. Family and friends, they all knew that Manny was indeed a cool guy who loves God and His words.

His time on earth is quite short but as he enters the gate of heaven, he’ll have the eternal life with our Creator.

I pray that Yas will always be comforted by that fact and that she will continue to live her life to the fullest by touching the lives of the so many people around her … spreading the words and grace of God not only to those who are hurting but also to those who are seeking who God is.

God Bless you Yas… I believe that you are indeed a Woman of Faith.

Isaiah Moves A Lot

Every night before tucking in for bed, Kris would read the bible to our baby. Lately, he would sing gospel music or just talk to him while rubbing my belly. One time, when we were both lying in bed, I could hardly feel him so I told Kris to tell him to kick. Kris said “Baby, give daddy a kick”. In an instant, Isaiah responded and gave me a gentle kick

Another time, while Kris was praying, Isaiah was so quite. But when Kris said, “Amen”, he moved like he leaps inside me or something. He was like saying “Amen” with his dad as well.

There was this one time also when he doesn’t want to stop moving. Kris just finished singing him a song so we get back to our sleeping position. Again, he was like leaping inside of me so I talked to him and said we need to sleep. But he wouldn’t stop. So I joked with Kris and said, he might have liked your voice. Can you sing to him again? Kris moved down to my belly and rolled my shirt up. He talked to Isaiah and sings him another song. He was quite after a while until Kris said good night. Isaiah was so cute. He responded to us. He bonded with his dad. What else does it bring but joy in our hearts.

Can’t wait for Christmas to come. It brings us more excitement today than ever because that’s also the time when we will finally see him and touch him… our lil bundle of joy… our lil Kristoffer Isaiah.

A whole lot'a difference

It's been a year now since I started my journey with Kris. The first few months of our marriage were a lil hard because of adjustment period. We are two different individual raised in two different ways.

He is too organized with his pertinent documents like his employment records and billings. He files them all in a three-ring-binder. He doesn’t just throw receipts but keep them and use Excel to monitor our monthly expenses. While I just keep my records in a multi divisional folder and don’t really keep billings once I settled the payment. I don’t keep monthly expenses report. He uses bond papers generously and prints documents in full rich color while I think it’s such a waste especially if it’s just for my own personal use. I can print something in a text format to have it in its lightest ink consumption.

On the other hand, we are also the same in some ways. We are both makulit, loves playing around with each other. And our minds connect most of the time even without our lips saying any words. And most of all, we both love God which glued us together through sadness and joy.

I am just so grateful that God has blessed me his son… It’s true that I can’t ask for more because I am married to a godly man. And that makes a whole lot’a difference.